Tag: dogs
Another Thing I’m Terrible At

Another Thing I’m Terrible At

by | Apr 17, 2016 | New Zealand | 6 comments

You guys remember how I said I wanted to stab the dog? I didn’t, you’ll be happy to know. But she did end up with blood all over her face. See I was slaughtering this chicken and after we cut the head off, the dog was trying to catch all the bits that fell on...
Gimme that knife.

Gimme that knife.

by | Apr 1, 2016 | New Zealand | 3 comments

I started my period today. “Gross, why did you tell us that?” say the men. “SHUT THE FUCK UP COME HERE LET ME STAB YOU,” I say in response. I’m not joking, I want to stab everyone and everything. I want to stab that girl at T-mobile for selling me this phone that...
No, Czech Republic, You Cannot Have My Uterus

No, Czech Republic, You Cannot Have My Uterus

by | Aug 25, 2014 | Europe | 4 comments

Have you ever watched Blades of Glory in Czech? I have. It’s pretty life changing. I mean, I could end this blog right now – that’s how good it is to watch this movie in Czech. Know what else is life changing? A hotel room with a TV in it. And your own big bed with no...
Bruge: Shithole

Bruge: Shithole

by | Aug 5, 2014 | Europe | 4 comments

Bruges kinda sucks. I recognize that’s not very polite, but I doubt any of you are particularly attached to it, and I haven’t noticed any Bruggians reading my blog, so I’m gonna stand by it. Bruges sucks. (Also, nobody let Janet read this post...