Category: Europe
Dresden: I mean, I bought a dress there.

Dresden: I mean, I bought a dress there.

So my buddy Rozz told me to go to Dresden (hey Rozz). She’s also the one who told me to hook up with Mario and Logan in Berlin (hey y’all), so I’m thinking Dresden is a shoe-in. Favorite place on the trip, for sure. But when I got to Berlin and all the cool...
Prague: A Series of F*ckups

Prague: A Series of F*ckups

Let me first say that Prague is awesome. But my first experience with it was a little nutty. I actually don’t want to relay what happened there – it’s not that interesting, to be honest. But it was weird and I’d like to un-remember a chunk of it....
The Princess and The Huge Sausage

The Princess and The Huge Sausage

I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alone here. So I’m in Bad Schandau, right? That’s the little town in Germany that’s...
Do you think this is a camera?

Do you think this is a camera?

It’s on the ceiling of my hotel room. I had a weird “maybe there are cameras in this bathroom” experience the other day, so it’s possible I’m just on high alert. If it’s NOT a camera, WHAT IS IT? Someone, you have to help me with...
I Accidentally Climbed a Mountain the Other Day.

I Accidentally Climbed a Mountain the Other Day.

There is a huge hole in the ass of my pajamas. Don’t know how long it’s been there, but I realized it the other morning at breakfast. And by that, I mean, in front of at least 20 Germans who were also eating their breakfast. They kept smiling at me, and I thought,...
Ahoy, bitches.

Ahoy, bitches.

So I found this place near Dresden – a national park called Saxon Switzerland. Which is deceivingly half in Germany and half in the Czech Republic, and 0% in Switzerland. WTF, right? Anyways, they have these crazy craggy rocks and I really wanted to see them, because...

I JUST ATE A TOMATO

I know, you can’t believe it, right? I hardly can either. Now if you’re not my mom or my sisters, maybe it’s not clear that this is a big deal, but THIS IS A BIG FREAKING DEAL. I understand that the rest of the world thinks that tomatoes are awesome. To me, they’re...
Berlin: Cooler Than You

Berlin: Cooler Than You

Everyone in Berlin is cooler than everyone I know. Sorry, Everyone-I-Know, it’s just true. They roll their own cigarettes and carry pints of beer in their backpacks and ride their bikes with no helmets. Even this guy, who drives a meat truck and is terrible at...
Bruges: Maybe-Not-So-Bad-After-All

Bruges: Maybe-Not-So-Bad-After-All

Note: None of this makes any sense unless you’ve ready my previous post. Which can be found here: Bruges: Shithole. ———– So, Bruges. I ended up having a nice time, and have learned to shut my dumb mouth before making such bold statements...

For Good Measure…

One last shitty thing about Bruges. Or Belgium in general… My little wifi thing I paid a bunch of money for DOES NOT WORK in in this country. I know, I should’ve noticed that on the list of “Places This Dumb Thing Will Not Work” before I left,...