Tag: dogs
Another Thing I’m Terrible At

Another Thing I’m Terrible At

You guys remember how I said I wanted to stab the dog? I didn’t, you’ll be happy to know. But she did end up with blood all over her face. See I was slaughtering this chicken and after we cut the head off, the dog was trying to catch all the bits that fell on...
Gimme that knife.

Gimme that knife.

I started my period today. “Gross, why did you tell us that?” say the men. “SHUT THE FUCK UP COME HERE LET ME STAB YOU,” I say in response. I’m not joking, I want to stab everyone and everything. I want to stab that girl at T-mobile for selling me this phone that...
No, Czech Republic, You Cannot Have My Uterus

No, Czech Republic, You Cannot Have My Uterus

Have you ever watched Blades of Glory in Czech? I have. It’s pretty life changing. I mean, I could end this blog right now – that’s how good it is to watch this movie in Czech. Know what else is life changing? A hotel room with a TV in it. And your own big bed with no...
Bruge: Shithole

Bruge: Shithole

Bruges kinda sucks. I recognize that’s not very polite, but I doubt any of you are particularly attached to it, and I haven’t noticed any Bruggians reading my blog, so I’m gonna stand by it. Bruges sucks. (Also, nobody let Janet read this post...