I almost missed all of it, but then… Slurpees.

I almost missed all of it, but then… Slurpees.

YOU GUYS, I’M IN THAILAND!!! I've wanted to come here FORFREAKINGEVER, and now I'm here and it's the best and I'm sososososososo happy about it! But I'm not actually gonna talk about that right now because I want to tell you about this awesome thing that happened...

Health Update / Final Wishes

Health Update / Final Wishes

I wanted to keep you all informed about the many ailments I've contracted in the past week or so. I know you've been worried since my last post, which you can read here. Status: First of all, I won't keep you in suspense...I'm still alive. Mobility is high,...

Oops on forgetting to make a will before I left…

Oops on forgetting to make a will before I left…

I’m staying in the dirtiest hostel on the planet right now. I’m not even exaggerating, y'all - this morning I went to wash my socks in the bathroom and there was an onion in the sink. I was already fairly certain I'd contracted TB after I accidentally...

YOU CAN STOP LOOKING, I FOUND IT.

YOU CAN STOP LOOKING, I FOUND IT.

You guys. I’ve found the greatest thing on the planet. For real. Wait. Maybe the second greatest thing. But it’s a close second. And it definitely wins over the slurpees at that 7-eleven by my house. So I guess on 3rd Avenue, this thing I’ve found is definitely the...

Hey Thanks, Edith.

Hey Thanks, Edith.

In every hostel, there’s a freebie shelf in the kitchen where people leave the stuff they don't want anymore. Sounds cool, but mostly it’s just a collection of greasy saltshakers and vegemite. No one has ever left a hunk of cheese or a bottle of olive oil on the...

Another Thing I’m Terrible At

Another Thing I’m Terrible At

You guys remember how I said I wanted to stab the dog? I didn’t, you'll be happy to know. But she did end up with blood all over her face. See I was slaughtering this chicken and after we cut the head off, the dog was trying to catch all the bits that fell on the...

How to Kill a Chicken in 13 Horrifying Steps

How to Kill a Chicken in 13 Horrifying Steps

Someone told me this post was gross and that I should maybe add a disclaimer about the content. I was gonna do it, but then I realized the title is pretty disclaimer-y already. IF YOU THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE A PUPPYCAM OR SOMETHING, THEN YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT...

Gimme that knife.

Gimme that knife.

I started my period today. “Gross, why did you tell us that?” say the men. “SHUT THE FUCK UP COME HERE LET ME STAB YOU,” I say in response. I’m not joking, I want to stab everyone and everything. I want to stab that girl at T-mobile for selling me this phone that...

Recap Recap Mo Mepap

Recap Recap Mo Mepap

Okay, so I’ve been really busy doing fun stuff*, and I haven’t had time to write any of it down. Every night I lay down in my cozy little campervan and say to myself, “Write, Kelly!” and then I fall asleep because this pillow and these PJs are just too good. *I’m...

These Balls

These Balls

I’m currently listening to a band of travelers (literally, a band, that travels) decide what type* of animal costumes they’re going to wear for their gig tonight. *When I say "type," I don't mean "bear, pig, dog." I mean what specific style of clothing the animal...

Don’t Tell Any Crazy People…

(Except sometimes I pretend I'm still in other places I've been before. Play along, jerks.)

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