It’s on the ceiling of my hotel room.

I had a weird “maybe there are cameras in this bathroom” experience the other day, so it’s possible I’m just on high alert.

If it’s NOT a camera, WHAT IS IT? Someone, you have to help me with this.

If it IS… I mean, I suppose there’s nothing to do about it. Everyone’s already seen my ass anyways. And if I end up on some Czech sleeping fetish website, what’s the harm, really?

Only problem is – you know when you’ve been sleeping in a loose tank top and you wake up and your boob is out? And then you freak out because you’re laying in a less than optimal position for boob viewing and you KNOW your bedpartner probably woke up before you to pee or something and saw it and now he (she, in my case) won’t want any morning nookie? That’s what happened just now. Except without the bedpartner. My bedpartner is that camera and 20 million Czech pervs.

They’re watching me type this right now, aren’t they? Shit.

Y’all. You have to let me know if my boob becomes a meme, k? I’m serious – don’t spare my feelings, I need to know.

Alright, I’m gonna go get breakfast.

A thousand puppies will live forever if you share this post, I totally swear.

A thousand puppies will live forever if you share this post, I totally swear.

Want some creepy emails from me?

I don't even know why this is a question.

Sweet. Check your email, dood.

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