Category: Europe
Krakow: The Sh*t

Krakow: The Sh*t

I’ve written like 30 versions of this post. They all start with “I effing loved Krakow, I’m probably moving there, real sorry parents/boss/plants” and then they deteriorate into some made-up story about a juggler throwing his underwear at an accordion...

BOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!

I go home today. WHAT AM I GONNA DO, Y’ALL?!? How am I going to live in my one little room and sit at my office and do all these normal things every day!? HOW am I not going to eat that insane cheese I ate yesterday, or not bike through adorable, windy streets,...
Auschwitz.

Auschwitz.

Can’t make The Holocaust funny, can you? Nope, not even if you’re an old man who wet-farts through the Auschwitz tour. The funny just turns off in that place. You don’t laugh and you don’t answer your cell phone and you don’t get an ice cream cone from the giftshop...
Day 2 – Mountaintop Shrooming & Desert Island Meals

Day 2 – Mountaintop Shrooming & Desert Island Meals

(Day 1 Here!) “…We’re going to do Austrian things,” said lovely Elisabeth in her lovely finger-cymbal voice. This is what that means: It means you get in a car with your sweet Austrian mother who speaks only German, and a couple of buddies (that’s Michael and that’s...
Day 1 – Salzburg Schmalzburg

Day 1 – Salzburg Schmalzburg

I have to be honest with you, I’ve been a little stuck. The past week has been one amazing thing after another, and I’m completely overwhelmed and humbled and misty about pretty much all of it, to the point where I have no idea what to write, and what I do write is...
All I Want for My Birthday Is…

All I Want for My Birthday Is…

I’m not gonna talk about my birthday like it’s some big deal – it’s not. And the truth is, I spent most of the day in this bathroom trying to go Number Two (it was Day 4, and things were getting serious). So it didn’t really feel like much of a birthday, to be honest....
No, Czech Republic, You Cannot Have My Uterus

No, Czech Republic, You Cannot Have My Uterus

Have you ever watched Blades of Glory in Czech? I have. It’s pretty life changing. I mean, I could end this blog right now – that’s how good it is to watch this movie in Czech. Know what else is life changing? A hotel room with a TV in it. And your own big bed with no...
HAAAAAALLSTAAAAAAAAATTTT!!!!!!!!

HAAAAAALLSTAAAAAAAAATTTT!!!!!!!!

Everything sucks. Look: WHAT THE F*CK. I rented this awesome place for the next 5 days: And I was gonna do this: And sit out here: But nope. I get this: (Did you know this existed, by the way? It’s TEN HOURS LONG!) …The rain would be cool if I was cuddled...